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Help! I'm Stuck In The Trunk
Disc 2, Track 12
Track guide
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Help! I'm Stuck In The Trunk is the thirty-third prank call in the Crotchety Old Man Calls.

Transcript Edit

(ringback tone)

Man: Triple A Locksmith

Milton: Oh thank god you..answered! Hello?!

(Milton bangs on door)

Man: H-Hello. Yes sir?

Milton: Is Th-Is this the locksmith?!

Man: Yes it is can I help you?

Milton: I'm stuck in the trunk.....of my car!

(Milton continues banging)

Man: Your what sir?

Milton: Let..Me..Out! I'm stuck in the trunk of my car!

Man: Oh, you've gotta be kidding.

Milton: I'm at the Brandon Town Center Mall.

Man: Oh okay.

Milton: And I was putting some packages in my car, and I fell in and the then the trunk lid just...slammed

Man: Ohh jeez. You're at the Brandon Town Center Mall?

Milton: I'm about to pass out! It's getting very hot in here!

Man: You need to calm down and we need to find out where you are in the mall sir. It's a very big mall.

Milton: Let..I'm trying to attract passing walkers by. Help! Hello? Let...Ahh LET ME OUT OF HERE!

Man: I can't hear you when you're pounding sir. You're gonna have to tell me where you are or we can't let you out.

Milton: I'm by the JC Penney's

Man: Okay you're by the JC Penney's

Milton: No no no wait a sec. I'm by the Dillards. I'm near the..

Man: Those are at Dobs at the end of the mall sir.

Milton: I'm near the Dillards. No no wait a sec. It's Bur-Burdines

Man: Ohh Burdines okay well.

Milton: No no no I'm sorry. I'm getting all woozy because of the heat

Man: Just calm down and try to relax.

Milton: I'm by the Macy's

Man: There's no Macy's at that mall sir

Milton: Ohh you're right no it's Burdines

Man: Ohh Burdines

Milton: Look for a Grand Marquis. It's a grey Grand Marquis. I..Uhhh Ahhh Let.. Uhh. I think I'm starting to pass out.

Man: Just calm down and don't panic, don't panic. We'll see if we can't get you out

Milton: It's getting very Ho...

Man: If you got a flashlight in the trunk sir..

Milton: Hold on a sec. I'm gonna...I'm gonna feel...I'm gonna feel around for a flashlight

(Milton squirts anti-freeze on his face)

Milton: DAHHH!

Man: What was that?

Milton: Ahh, Pfff Anti-Freeze! It's in my face and eyes and mouth!

Man: Ohhh jeez. Get that off of ya! Get in off of ya real quick that stuff is real bad!

Milton: Okay antifreeze is off! It's off of me.

Man: Find some matches or maybe a cigarette lighter

Milton: That's what I'm looking..hang on a sec. I'm feeling around for a flashlight.

(Tire jacks hit Milton in the head)

Milton: Dohhh!

Man: What was that?

Milton: Tire jack, clocked me in the head. Oh my god! oh my..

Man: Just try to relax sir.

Milton: I think the trunk of my Lincoln-Mercury Grand Marquis is gonna be my tomb

Man: No sir. We'll get you out of their sir you just gotta try to calm down

(Milton is still banging)

Milton: Ahhh Let... Can anyone hear me?! Mall security?! AHHHHHH

Man: What's your name?

Milton: My name is Milton Fludgecow and I'm afraid that these will be the last days I walked on earth for me.

Man: Milton just calm down. We have a truck on the way, You just need to find some light, like some matches or a flashlight or anything like that.

Milton: I'm elderly, I'm scared, and I just wet my pants!

Man: Oh no. I understand someone will be their in just a few minutes. You just need to..

Milton: It's amazing I have my belt holster cellular phone

Man: I understand. I'm glad you have it cause it's very hot out their. We need you to calm down so we can get you out.

Milton: I'm looking for a match.

Man: Okay, find some matches or a cigarette lighter or something like that.

Milton: I've got a match

Man: Ok great

Milton: Lighting the match

(Milton lights the match)

Milton: Okay, I've got light

Man: Okay, look around see if you can find a..

Milton: Op! I forgot I've got a gas leak.

Man: Pu-Put the match out!

Milton: I've got a gas...

(car explodes and Milton is killed)

Man: Oh my god! I think the guy just blew himself up.

(ringback tone)

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