|Help! I'm Stuck In The Trunk|
|Disc 2, Track 12|
Y2K Survival Kit
Ski Into Tree
Man: Triple A Locksmith
Milton: Oh thank god you..answered! Hello?!
(Milton bangs on door)
Man: H-Hello. Yes sir?
Milton: Is Th-Is this the locksmith?!
Man: Yes it is can I help you?
Milton: I'm stuck in the trunk.....of my car!
(Milton continues banging)
Man: Your what sir?
Milton: Let..Me..Out! I'm stuck in the trunk of my car!
Man: Oh, you've gotta be kidding.
Milton: I'm at the Brandon Town Center Mall.
Man: Oh okay.
Milton: And I was putting some packages in my car, and I fell in and the then the trunk lid just...slammed
Man: Ohh jeez. You're at the Brandon Town Center Mall?
Milton: I'm about to pass out! It's getting very hot in here!
Man: You need to calm down and we need to find out where you are in the mall sir. It's a very big mall.
Milton: Let..I'm trying to attract passing walkers by. Help! Hello? Let...Ahh LET ME OUT OF HERE!
Man: I can't hear you when you're pounding sir. You're gonna have to tell me where you are or we can't let you out.
Milton: I'm by the JC Penney's
Man: Okay you're by the JC Penney's
Milton: No no no wait a sec. I'm by the Dillards. I'm near the..
Man: Those are at Dobs at the end of the mall sir.
Milton: I'm near the Dillards. No no wait a sec. It's Bur-Burdines
Man: Ohh Burdines okay well.
Milton: No no no I'm sorry. I'm getting all woozy because of the heat
Man: Just calm down and try to relax.
Milton: I'm by the Macy's
Man: There's no Macy's at that mall sir
Milton: Ohh you're right no it's Burdines
Man: Ohh Burdines
Milton: Look for a Grand Marquis. It's a grey Grand Marquis. I..Uhhh Ahhh Let.. Uhh. I think I'm starting to pass out.
Man: Just calm down and don't panic, don't panic. We'll see if we can't get you out
Milton: It's getting very Ho...
Man: If you got a flashlight in the trunk sir..
Milton: Hold on a sec. I'm gonna...I'm gonna feel...I'm gonna feel around for a flashlight
(Milton squirts anti-freeze on his face)
Man: What was that?
Milton: Ahh, Pfff Anti-Freeze! It's in my face and eyes and mouth!
Man: Ohhh jeez. Get that off of ya! Get in off of ya real quick that stuff is real bad!
Milton: Okay antifreeze is off! It's off of me.
Man: Find some matches or maybe a cigarette lighter
Milton: That's what I'm looking..hang on a sec. I'm feeling around for a flashlight.
(Tire jacks hit Milton in the head)
Man: What was that?
Milton: Tire jack, clocked me in the head. Oh my god! oh my..
Man: Just try to relax sir.
Milton: I think the trunk of my Lincoln-Mercury Grand Marquis is gonna be my tomb
Man: No sir. We'll get you out of their sir you just gotta try to calm down
(Milton is still banging)
Milton: Ahhh Let... Can anyone hear me?! Mall security?! AHHHHHH
Man: What's your name?
Milton: My name is Milton Fludgecow and I'm afraid that these will be the last days I walked on earth for me.
Man: Milton just calm down. We have a truck on the way, You just need to find some light, like some matches or a flashlight or anything like that.
Milton: I'm elderly, I'm scared, and I just wet my pants!
Man: Oh no. I understand someone will be their in just a few minutes. You just need to..
Milton: It's amazing I have my belt holster cellular phone
Man: I understand. I'm glad you have it cause it's very hot out their. We need you to calm down so we can get you out.
Milton: I'm looking for a match.
Man: Okay, find some matches or a cigarette lighter or something like that.
Milton: I've got a match
Man: Ok great
Milton: Lighting the match
(Milton lights the match)
Milton: Okay, I've got light
Man: Okay, look around see if you can find a..
Milton: Op! I forgot I've got a gas leak.
Man: Pu-Put the match out!
Milton: I've got a gas...
(car explodes and Milton is killed)
Man: Oh my god! I think the guy just blew himself up.